Seems you've lost your way. Speaking of being lost....
The Gospel is the story of God's great love for us.
We were lost in sin, separated from Him, but He made a way for us to come back.
He sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross and rise again. He defeated death and offers us forgiveness and new life
if we turn from our own ways, and come & follow Him.
It's like a beautiful picture, where Jesus is more than just the focal point that brings everything into sharp detail,
He is the Light of the world that makes it even possible to see.
Without Him, there is only darkness.
But With Jesus, we can never be truly lost.
If there's still air in your lungs today, if your heart still beats, God's not finished with you yet.