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The Value of Vulnerable

I’m sorry I’ve been away so long… The truth is there’s this thing called facebook, and when I want to post something in a flash, these days it usually ends up there instead of here. But now I’m starting to think facebook is really not all it’s cracked up to be, at least not anymore. On our photography page I may have hundreds and even thousands read a single post, and yet the next day only 20 will see a post from our nonprofit, Bibles for Haiti page. Why? Maybe I just don’t fit into their robot’s relevance matrix, or my writing is deemed too far off the beaten, mainstream path to be considered worthy? Maybe it’s just that you think you’re talking with someone when really, you’re just talking with yourself? My last post on facebook was from the heart. Over a thousand people read it. Only 1 replied: “How I Committed Business Suicide: I Marketed to the Affluent and Showed Them Pictures of Poverty… Maybe that’s the Best Seller I should write? WHY did I do that? I don’t know. I guess my most honest answer would be because that’s what I felt. I had a foot firmly planted…in both worlds. One in America. One in Haiti. So now we are re-strategizing, thinking about the direction we want to take our business, but what do you think? Do I want to just sell the Cinderella Story? That’s what I call it. I can go on my site and immediately scrape my images into two categories, Cinderella Story and Not Cinderella Story/Cold Hard Truth/Reality/Let’s Get Real Story. Could I? Yep. I could change my site today and make it so the average bride with her bridal aspirations comes to my site and hears Tinker Bell and sees Tinker Bell and feels all Tinker Bell… I can make it so she doesn’t get smacked with looking into the eyes of a mother holding her hungry child, or the blind man who died a few days later because there was no aid, or the pastor who was crying out and pleading to God in an ocean of thanksgiving for the rescue of souls… I can make it so she doesn’t get nervous and jump off my site and just go grab the latest whirling, twirling spinning, blurring, ballroom-dancing image…………… but honestly, is that the right thing to do? Help me out here? Do we just put on the blinders and live in the fairytale, America? Do we turn our back to what is true about the world for the sake of feeling comfortable?” The world is real. Our nature is real. Our need for a Savior is real. Our brokenness is real. Why not tell the real story, show our true humanity, open ourselves up to the cracks and flaws of that vulnerability, and then find that to be valuable? God does. He knows. He sees the cracks. He is still head over heels in love with us, thanks to Christ. If He’s not running away, why are we? I know this. I can tell a story. A really good one. I can see God’s signature in everyone, and I can capture it with a camera, with video, and with words. I’m also blind in one eye. I have been since birth. I’ve never made that public either. When I filled out an application this year, they asked if I was handicapped. Blindness was listed. I checked that I am not handicapped. Why? Because I don’t feel it’s a handicap. It’s more like a gift. The truth is with the one good eye He did give me, I can see His workmanship, and for that I’m eternally thankful. I have no greater joy than to share what I can see, even if it’s only half of what you can.

I thought I would post this here. Maybe just for myself. Because I come here and go back through the years, to remember the times that God brought me to something…or kept me from it. The times He walked with me, the times He broke me, the times He remained silent, and even the times He rescued me. I can look back and see how God took what seemed to be a question mark and straightened it out into an exclamation point. Then I can take a little hope, catch my breath, and remember that He knows. He feels what I’m unable to express. There will be a day, and all things will be made new, and today’s question will be answered in His time.

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